Today I was looking for some old notebooks and somehow I found something else. I found some old poems translated from Romanian to English. It was an old homework from early school time. Here they are:

Sleeping birdies

Sleeping birdies
Sleep in nests and hold so tight,
Hide on branches -
                          Good night!

Only springs I see they sigh,
When as mutes the forests freeze;
Flowers also in beds stay -
                           Sleep in peace!

On water comes the swan through
The cane to go to sleep-
May the angels be with you,
                           Sweet sleep!

In the fairy-like darkness
Rises the great Moon in pride,
All is dreamy and harmless.
                            Good night!


At the star

At the star that rose before
There's a way so long
Thousands of years had to pass for
The light to come along.

Maybe it passed somewhere
In the blue foresight
And just about now its ray
Glowed to our eyesight.

The icon of the star that died
Slowly on the sky it climbed on
It was there but here no sight
We see it now but it's gone.

Still when our lunging
Fades in the deepest night
The light of the be-loving
Follows us still bright.


And if...

And if branches hit the window
And the aspen trees will tremble
It's like you sleep now on my pillow
And slowly have you and be humble.

And if stars I see in the lake
Lightening its depth
It's like away the pain I take
Brightening my thought.

And though clouds will go away
The Moon I see wherever
And to remember all the way
You once and forever.

Letters to my girl...(leter 2)

My dear girl,

I need...I need you...I need you to know...I need you to know that I also want us to be like we used to be. The only thing that's in my way is my unusual love for him. I know this has to end somehow and I do want this thing to have a closure. But unfortunately I'm still undecided on how to do it. Every time I want to make a decision I'm scared that it won't be the right one. I don't want to regret this later and to remain all my life wandering "what if...". This has to be naturally done. I guess I'm still waiting for a sign from him telling me it is all right to leave this sick situation. Don't be worried for me, please, cause I'm learning to be ready for anything. I'm learning not to be surprised if this ends in a different way than I wish. I know life is not fair. Neither is love. So I think I'm getting a little bit stronger every day. Thank you for being there for me though! I really need my best friend to understand me and you are the only one that can. I know you are the only one who knows me best and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but I think sometimes I have to learn from my own mistakes. I just really hope this is not one yet.

Love,
Your best friend forever, Heart

Letters to my heart...(letter 2)

Dear Heart,

I miss...I miss those times...I miss those times when we were best friends...I miss those times when we were best friends and everything was perfect. We felt...we felt the same way...we felt the same way about anything. We used to be able to deal with any situation together. How come now you've betrayed me? You began to love him when I told you you're gonna get hurt. Don't tell me now that you're angry and don't cry because I warned you this would happen.You wouldn't listen to me. "Now, suffer!", I wish I could tell you...but you're still my best friend and I can't let you down no matter how much I want to. I saw a film the other day that reminded me of our relationship. A boy was trying to convince a girl not to jump from a ship. She asked him why couldn't he let her go and I loved his answer: "I'm too involved now...If you jump, I jump!". My dear friend, now I tell you the same thing: if you suffer, I suffer! So, please, my sad friend..let me help you, let me be there for you 'cause I can't stand to see you like this!

Your true friend,
Me

Letters to my girl...(letter 1)

My dear Girl,

I never...I never thought...I never thought he'd see...I never thought he'd see a peaceful place and try to conquer it with every weapon a man can use. I'm a wreck. I wanted so badly to keep those gates open that now I wish they were hermetically closed and indestructible. But I can't close them...not yet...I'm confused, I know...I feel like a marionette but I still love him. I can't explain why. It's like he has put a spell on me and I can't stop loving him. I can't understand why he does all those things and how come he can be so different every time. He wears so many faces that I don't get which one is the real one or if he wears just masks. Every time I try to look inside him he hides and I start to wonder if he's doing that just because he likes to see me curious or he's afraid of me. Then I wonder...what can he be afraid of? I don't know for sure but I think this dilemma is the reason of me still loving him. Just like you, I hope I'll find the truth someday. Hope...hope is...hope is the best...hope is the best thing you can do.

Love,
Heart

Letters to my heart...(letter 1)

Dear Heart,

A way...my way...my way of thinking...my way of thinking about him...my way of thinking about him whenever...my way of thinking about him whenever he loves...my way of thinking about him whenever he loves me. You...you are always open...you are always open for him...you are always open for him although you shouldn't. He may love...he may love me...he may love me but still...he may love me but still he takes me for granted. Sometimes I think I should close you and throw the key because the one who loves me would jump over the fence and mend YOU before he lets you love again...In spite of this, I keep those gates open for him though I know he doesn't deserve it. Why do I keep doing that? I guess...I guess I still...I guess I still hope...I guess I still hope for a change...I guess I still hope for a change that I know will never come. Is it that wrong to believe the impossible would ever become possible?

Love,
Me.

Neprețuit

Timp nebun, fugi pierdut în negura amintirii
Și nu stai o clipă să pot a visa
Prezentu-i doar o stea din mii pe cerul nopții
Viitoru-i deja trecut în lumea ta.

Degeaba încerc să alerg în urmă-ți tare
Sperând să te prind în colivie
Căci lumina-i nimic în umbra ta mare
Și nimic nu te-ntrece-n veșnicie.

Când tu ca nisipul printre degete te scurgi
Bucuria devine uitare-n minte
Și două ceasuri par doar secunde mai lungi
Iar poveștile devin cuvinte.

Am învățat că viața este mult prea scurtă
Ca să te hrănești din trecut
Și că cei mai mulți din noi n-ascultă
Când clipa să se sting-a-nceput.

Vreau să simt că trăiesc această viață
Nu că fug bezmetică prin ea
Să simt că am un real viitor în față
Și nu o oglindă pentru umbra mea.

Nu vreau o pânză albă pe șevaletul vieții mele
Nu-mi doresc nici s-o pătez
Vreau s-o pictez doar în culorile mele
Tabloul aproape perfect să-l creez.

Muzica, condeiul și cărbunele-mi sunt prietenii
Ei îmi vor fi etern aproape
Și-mpreună cvartetul plenar vom deveni
Noi vom cuceri lumile toate.

Știu c-aș putea și munții să-i mut de vreau
Cerul nu-i nicicând limita mea
Și-un ocean aș fi în stare să-l beau
Orice-aș voi aș putea avea.

Tot ce am de făcut de-aici înainte
E ca ținta să mi-o șlefuiesc
Și nicio furtună nu mă va putea abate
Din calea pe care mi-o croiesc.

Perceptions of conceptions

"Good", "bad"...what is one without the other? We couldn't know the meaning of "good" without the "bad" and vice versa. These two coexist and that can never change. But, all in all, these words, these concepts have a different meaning for each of us. My "good" isn't necessary to be your "good" and my "bad" isn't automatic yours too. There are as many shades of these as leaves in a tree. We do what we subjectively think it's "good" while that "good" may be "bad" for the others. Let's take a simple situation for example:
A poor man needs money because he's starving and he has a wife and 5 children to feed at home. He sneaks out at the back of a tree to pursue a women taking out money from an ATM. He follows her to a less populated area and steals her purse. He gets home and buys food for his family. Now let's think: Yes, he has a problem and that problem is worse if it's not only his but his family's too. Yes, he did a "good" to his family but that "good" is "bad" for the lady he took the purse from. My question is why take the easy way and make others suffer? Those money could have been the ones that the lady needed to pay her rent. So, our man took her money for the rent to buy food for him and his family. Let's look at this from other point of view. Yes, he is poor and his story is worse than the lady's, but if he was poor from the beginning...why did he have 5 children and not only one? What was he thinking to have all those babies when he wasn't able to feed himself, not to mention the whole family? Other point of view may show the lady being very rich and not care too much for her loss. What our man did is still called stealing and when the money is gone he'll need another so he'll steal again. If we're thinking strictly to our poor man, not only that he's doing a "bad" thing to the lady, but he's doing one to himself and his family too because he might get caught and brought in front of the law. So, isn't that "bad" for everyone at the end?
I'm not judging anybody...just thinking logically. I know it is hard to get a job when you have a whole family to feed, a broken roof on the top of your head and not too much "school" in that head. But still I think you can find a job if you really want to. You just have to look carefully for it. I'm not talking about a lawyer, a doctor or an engineer job, but a janitor or window cleaner or something that brings money in a home. There are courses that the state give to the unemployed to learn how to do a job and that is completely free. I'm just saying that there are better solutions than doing "bad" stuff to get where you want/need.
So...we do have also "good" and "bad" inside of us...but we are the ones who choose which one to let out. Usually it is a matter of morals and ethics but also conscience, I think.